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Saturday, June 30, 2007



hat's what I heard come from the Doctor's mouth. Of course there was a "caveat" in there also... isn't there always a "caveat". And that "caveat" was if everything goes according to plans. Of course there is a "if things go according to plan." And with that the Doctor was out the door.

There I was laying in bed, in ICU, with my eyes looking straight ahead of me fixated on the wall. Yep, I was headed for some old age home... I was not going to allow any of my children take care of me. They all have their own problems and they don't need me hobbling around. All of these ideas would have to wait... I STILL had go to the bathroom.

(At this point it might be wise to change the names of the innocent.) Ummm, Monique, yeah that's it... she was a Monique, my nurse was still in the room. "Excuse me nurse?", I said, "I still have to go to the bathroom." She bent down to retrieve something from a closet. Up she popped and an urinal in one hand and a bed pan in the other. Thanks goodness I needed the urinal because I KNEW I would not use the bed pan... period! I am not even going to describe that little episode. Let's just say that Monique was sooooo helpful! lol

It was about this time I realized that I was wired into the bed and railings on both side of me. I couldn't get out of the bed even if the room was on fire. Finally I was alone with my thoughts. My thoughts were not very productive at all!

Thoughts kept racing around in my brain... my damaged brain... damn hand and arm wouldn't move, my speech sounded like ground up alphabet soup. An old joke floated my brain and I realized I could maybe play baseball... as first base... since I couldn't actually play the game, I could participate as a base maybe. Ugh... My thoughts were not much more productive then that.

Oh! how could I forget... I put some food in my mouth and guess what???? Half of my lips and tongue are numb... also! Good grief, "now my food will be dripping out of my mouth while I have dinner at the old age home." Actually I have feeling on the left side of my mouth... now I had to chew on that side.

I actually thought I could write this in one sitting. I was wrong. I am giggling too much. That I am writing I am also thinking ahead and laughing it too much... I have to wait for next week. Wait until I get to the part where I pull the entire needle out of my artery... wheeeee!

To be continued...

[DISCLAIMER:] I am not making fun of anyone who has a stroke... far from it. I have had 6 of them! The one thing I have found in life... there is humor in everything... it's what helps you over the rough spots in life... not to mention that it keeps you from wallowing in the gutter.


Saturday, June 23, 2007



f have read the previous posting, then you know why I was in ICU. I first noticed all the wires coming out of my body. Liquids pumped into my body for nuition and other tubes pumping drugs to make me happy. The have to admit the second set of tubes made me much more pleasant to be around then the first.

You know they say that first impressions last forever? First thing I remember is my nurse next to my bed and introducing herself. I weakly smile and said, "Hi, I have to pee, bad." Trust me, I never used that as an opening line before... That's what I thought I said. I knew my mouth was moving. knew there were understandle sentences in my brain, but I don't know was coming out of my mouth... what was coming out of my mouth was nonsense... some kind of foreign language.

By this time the doctor was standing by my bed. He informed me that from what they had gathered so far was that I had another stroke... on my left side. Now if you take a quick look at the diagram at the bottom of this page you will see that Speech is governed by the left hemisphere of the brain. Seeing the panicked look in my eyes, he mentioned my speech problem. I began asking questions... the problem here was that he couldn't understand them.

Along with the speech problem I also noticed that my right hand wasn't moving. Neither was my arm... my right leg wasn't working as good either. I layed quietly listenting to the doctor talk about my condition. I could heard his words but my brain was a million miles away somewhere... in some kind of "home" for non-walking, non-talking people, like myself, where at 60 years old I will spend the rest of my life. Then it hit me... at least I wasn't a complete invalid... I was left-handed.

Then my brain filled with all of the horror movies I had ever seen about the manical nurse and the hospital orderly caring for my needs. Thank God in the nick of time before I was burgeoned to death, I heard the doctor say, "in normal in 6 to 9 months."

Huh? What? Say that again... What was that about "in normal in 6 to 9 months?"

To Be Continued...


Wednesday, June 13, 2007



he last stroke, number 6, is the one that makes me almost feeling I was knocking the pearly gates.

I was already in the hospital for #5 which I experienced the night before. As I already knew there was nothing they could for the strokes because the previous ones were too was gone to deal with the injections. Never in my life I did expect to having another stroke while I was in the hospital dealing with #5.

It was a beautiful night with the moon out bright and a light breeze blowing on the grounds of the St. Luke's Hospital campuses. It was a great night to be alive as just was any night actually! Little didn't I know that in a few minutes I would come as close to death as I would ever come... without actually doing it.

I forget the time but knew it was late, I figured it was time to go back to up to my room and turn in for the night. I was walking slowly alongside the wall, heading up a small incline towards the hospital doors... then it hit square in the head.

I felt a ton of bricks fall on me. All a once had emotions and sensations take over my body and brain. I didn't know what was happening. My brain was thinking, nothing else seemed to be working. My legs were going dead as much as my arms, hands. I was now leaning and walking along the wall about minus 5 miles per hour.

I wasn't sure I was even moving. This feeling came over me that I needed to sit down... and quickly. I somehow made into the hospital lobby... In front of me were rows of plush padded chairs. I walked to them with all of the grace of a stumbling corpse. I plopped down... plopped down literally. My eye lids kept closing. I just know that if the closed, they would never open up again. I forced them back up and open.

My eyes glanced around and on the other on the room I noticed there were 2 guards. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I thought I could tap on the chair with my hands. I thought I was pouding on the chair. I looked down and I could see my hands hitting the armrest was there was no sound. I could had been a terrorist, totally naked sitting an ready to blow up the hospital and no would notice me.

I was another wave of something flowing by brain, nor not flowing through my brain... I could not feel pain. I don't think I could feel my body. I think for the first time I actually remember thinking... "I am dying right now right here in this chair." Once again I looked up at the guards... there weren't there. Turning my head, I looked around... and there was NO ONE anywhere in the lobby. I began to think I am all alone... just me and God. "Hi God, it's me, little blonde Fishtown kid, Denny Shane. I always knew this day was coming."

This is one of the biggest hospitals in Houston, smack dab in the middle of the Medical Center, the hub of medical history throughout in the world. No one in the lobby! There I am dying and then the thought hit me... maybe I was dreaming and the lobby was really full of people... and no one could see ME.

Slowly in the background the theme song to the Twilight Zone began playing.

Slowly I decided if I was going to just sit there, surely I was going to die. I pushed up and up I got... to my feet. I ordered my feet to walk... and guess what?? They obeyed my command and we were walking... more like dragging but walking. The hospital was a full-blown McDonald's inside and I see it there... It was closed. I could smell the hamburgers... the last thing I would smell in my life.

To the elevators... inside and push the 21th floor. The doors open and out I step into the corridors. There is one nurse nurse sitting behind her desk. With a half-stare she says me, "hello". This is won't work at all...

The is a small set of benches, and down I propped myself. She seem to not notice me. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I fell on the floor and closed my eyes.

The next thing I remembered was me opening my eyes and I was in ICU. As the saying goes... that's an a whole other story!


Saturday, June 9, 2007



had first Ischemic stroke was in April 2004 and with my 6th Ischemic being about a month ago end of March in 2007.

After the first stroke I had absolutely no outward signs. I actually wasn't either sure I had anything. I felt a kind of tingling sensation on my face. Around my nose, cheek and lips...

Strokes 2 thru 5, still the same thing. I had ambivalent feelings about the whole thing. A friend who a stroke about 6 years ago and now he is confined to a wheelchair, has not talked to date. He is with 1 stroke, with me having 5 and I was walking around, acting quite normal.

Last month I had #6. Things changed... this time it changed brain around a bit. I had aphasia... Aphasia means that I could understand what was being said... I had my problems with language... both with speaking as the words and with just finding the right words. And it really irritated me that I had all of the words and sentences in my head but would get lost by the they got to my mouth.

The other problem I am was with typing... my fingers would not type what was in my mind. The I have to type words are spelled and I seem to type some words twice in a row. A problem I am experiencing currently.

All and all, quite interesting and learning to say the least.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammar errors... I am using a out-dated keyboard. lol


Saturday, June 2, 2007



n the event of a stroke.

Briefly, I have had 6 strokes. Hold on... take me sure sure... one, two, three, four, five, six... yep, 6... I have to count and make sure sometimes because I skip and times I go right past 4 or 5, forgetting they are still numbers. Laugh.

Two on the left side and four on the right side. The first two, on the right side were uneventful in 2004 and 2005. Number three, in March of 2007, the first on the left side, was not so quite uneventful to say the least.

It was a blustering and storming winter night... oopps, wrong story.

Sitting down on the sofa, I turned on the TV and tuned into Court TV. Hmmmm... the next minute I knew I was laying on the floor in front of the sofa. "What I am doing down here?", was the first that popped into my head. Actually having another stroke was the last thing on my mind... the fact that half my face was sliding off my skull didn't registered yet... until I tried to stand up.

That's when it hit me. My leg isn't working... why isn't it working? No matter how many times I tried, it wasn't going to work. Here I am laying on the floor, sandwiched between the sofa and the coffee table, and the phone was on the other side of the room. I swear to God, I laid there laughing at myself because I couldn't get up. Laughing!

"Okee dokee...what's next?", I thought. Pushing myself with my arm seemed to work fine. By the time I had worked myself free, standing up, I made it to a chair and sat down.

I sat there for a few minutes assessing the situation. The feeling came to back to my legs and I began to compose myself. Outloud I wondered, "what the heck was that?"

Heres comes the entire purpose of this story. What the next thing I did ... dumb, dumb, dumb... I simply got into my car and drove myself to the hospital! dumb, dumb, dumb.

Hold on, lemme say that again, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Once in the hospital I found out I couldn't speak in order to tell them I had a suffered a stroke. The guard on duty didn't have a clue what was wrong with me... luckily for me a nurse walked by and realized what wrong.

The rest is history. One other thing... after spending one week in the hospital, got out, I another stroke the very next day.