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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

HOW IT FEELS TO ALMOST DIE...


T

he last stroke, number 6, is the one that makes me almost feeling I was knocking the pearly gates.

I was already in the hospital for #5 which I experienced the night before. As I already knew there was nothing they could for the strokes because the previous ones were too was gone to deal with the injections. Never in my life I did expect to having another stroke while I was in the hospital dealing with #5.

It was a beautiful night with the moon out bright and a light breeze blowing on the grounds of the St. Luke's Hospital campuses. It was a great night to be alive as just was any night actually! Little didn't I know that in a few minutes I would come as close to death as I would ever come... without actually doing it.

I forget the time but knew it was late, I figured it was time to go back to up to my room and turn in for the night. I was walking slowly alongside the wall, heading up a small incline towards the hospital doors... then it hit square in the head.

I felt a ton of bricks fall on me. All a once had emotions and sensations take over my body and brain. I didn't know what was happening. My brain was thinking, nothing else seemed to be working. My legs were going dead as much as my arms, hands. I was now leaning and walking along the wall about minus 5 miles per hour.

I wasn't sure I was even moving. This feeling came over me that I needed to sit down... and quickly. I somehow made into the hospital lobby... In front of me were rows of plush padded chairs. I walked to them with all of the grace of a stumbling corpse. I plopped down... plopped down literally. My eye lids kept closing. I just know that if the closed, they would never open up again. I forced them back up and open.

My eyes glanced around and on the other on the room I noticed there were 2 guards. I opened my mouth and nothing came out. I thought I could tap on the chair with my hands. I thought I was pouding on the chair. I looked down and I could see my hands hitting the armrest was there was no sound. I could had been a terrorist, totally naked sitting an ready to blow up the hospital and no would notice me.

I was another wave of something flowing by brain, nor not flowing through my brain... I could not feel pain. I don't think I could feel my body. I think for the first time I actually remember thinking... "I am dying right now right here in this chair." Once again I looked up at the guards... there weren't there. Turning my head, I looked around... and there was NO ONE anywhere in the lobby. I began to think I am all alone... just me and God. "Hi God, it's me, little blonde Fishtown kid, Denny Shane. I always knew this day was coming."

This is one of the biggest hospitals in Houston, smack dab in the middle of the Medical Center, the hub of medical history throughout in the world. No one in the lobby! There I am dying and then the thought hit me... maybe I was dreaming and the lobby was really full of people... and no one could see ME.

Slowly in the background the theme song to the Twilight Zone began playing.

Slowly I decided if I was going to just sit there, surely I was going to die. I pushed up and up I got... to my feet. I ordered my feet to walk... and guess what?? They obeyed my command and we were walking... more like dragging but walking. The hospital was a full-blown McDonald's inside and I see it there... It was closed. I could smell the hamburgers... the last thing I would smell in my life.

To the elevators... inside and push the 21th floor. The doors open and out I step into the corridors. There is one nurse nurse sitting behind her desk. With a half-stare she says me, "hello". This is won't work at all...

The is a small set of benches, and down I propped myself. She seem to not notice me. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I fell on the floor and closed my eyes.

The next thing I remembered was me opening my eyes and I was in ICU. As the saying goes... that's an a whole other story!

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