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Saturday, June 30, 2007



hat's what I heard come from the Doctor's mouth. Of course there was a "caveat" in there also... isn't there always a "caveat". And that "caveat" was if everything goes according to plans. Of course there is a "if things go according to plan." And with that the Doctor was out the door.

There I was laying in bed, in ICU, with my eyes looking straight ahead of me fixated on the wall. Yep, I was headed for some old age home... I was not going to allow any of my children take care of me. They all have their own problems and they don't need me hobbling around. All of these ideas would have to wait... I STILL had go to the bathroom.

(At this point it might be wise to change the names of the innocent.) Ummm, Monique, yeah that's it... she was a Monique, my nurse was still in the room. "Excuse me nurse?", I said, "I still have to go to the bathroom." She bent down to retrieve something from a closet. Up she popped and an urinal in one hand and a bed pan in the other. Thanks goodness I needed the urinal because I KNEW I would not use the bed pan... period! I am not even going to describe that little episode. Let's just say that Monique was sooooo helpful! lol

It was about this time I realized that I was wired into the bed and railings on both side of me. I couldn't get out of the bed even if the room was on fire. Finally I was alone with my thoughts. My thoughts were not very productive at all!

Thoughts kept racing around in my brain... my damaged brain... damn hand and arm wouldn't move, my speech sounded like ground up alphabet soup. An old joke floated my brain and I realized I could maybe play baseball... as first base... since I couldn't actually play the game, I could participate as a base maybe. Ugh... My thoughts were not much more productive then that.

Oh! how could I forget... I put some food in my mouth and guess what???? Half of my lips and tongue are numb... also! Good grief, "now my food will be dripping out of my mouth while I have dinner at the old age home." Actually I have feeling on the left side of my mouth... now I had to chew on that side.

I actually thought I could write this in one sitting. I was wrong. I am giggling too much. That I am writing I am also thinking ahead and laughing it too much... I have to wait for next week. Wait until I get to the part where I pull the entire needle out of my artery... wheeeee!

To be continued...

[DISCLAIMER:] I am not making fun of anyone who has a stroke... far from it. I have had 6 of them! The one thing I have found in life... there is humor in everything... it's what helps you over the rough spots in life... not to mention that it keeps you from wallowing in the gutter.


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Copyright Denny Shane 2007

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